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Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Secrets of an enduring, happy marriage

This Sunday is Valentine's Day and also my anniversary. We will be married 29 years, which seems hard to imagine. I posed a question on my Facebook page asking those who have been married for a long time their secrets. This is what they share:

*Don't bring up past offensives. Don't be a book-keeper. Agape love keeps no record of wrongs.

*Honor and respect each other.

*Don't go to bed mad. Resolve anger, forgive quickly. Resentment can and will develop poisoning your relationship. Agape love is not easily angered.

*Give grace freely. After all you need it too. You've been forgiven of much.

*Make time for each other. Be intentional. Sometimes you even have to fight for what is priceless. It is worth it always.

*Make your spouse feel special, needed. Again, don't you desire the same thing?  Well, he does too.

*Never, ever put them down in front of other people. This is downright ugly and demoralizing.

*Choose battles wisely. You don't have to be right all the time. Sometimes it's best just to drop it.

*Humor is very important. Laughing together is surprisingly intimate.

*The D word should never be mentioned. It's never an option. Unless of course there is abuse. Agape love always preserves through the lean hard times. Marriage is not a sprint, but a marathon.

*Communicate!  Your spouse can't read your mind. I don't care how long you've been married.

*Concentrate on making each other happy, by doing this you'll make yourself happy. Agape love is not self seeking.

*Pray together and for each other.

*Understand that your fulfillment is in Christ alone. Take the pressure off your spouse. They are just a human, not God.

*Be thankful for what God has given you. Learn contentment. The grass is not greener on the other side.