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Friday, December 2, 2016

Burr of Rejection



I've been struggling of late with myself. You'd think after fifty years I'd have it all together; maybe I look that way at times, but yes I still struggle sometimes. My own blog encouraged me this evening
and I hope it does the same for you. So here is a post from a couple of years ago:

I guess if I pinned down when it began, it would be in elementary school. I felt the sting of rejection then. The girls usually would shun me out of their groups, the boys constantly told me I was ugly. I heard their pointed laughter and sneers. 

It continued throughout the rest of my school years. I had very few people I considered friends. I usually hung out in the library, hidden away with my precious books until I had to go back to class. 

The only true friends I had were in my church which was in another town. It truly was the bright spot in my life. 

I’m not sharing this with you so I can gain your pity. I’m not a drama queen by any means. To be honest, I’ve never really shared this with anyone before. But, I heard a video blog recently from a friend who shared about struggles with inferiority. Her video stirred my heart.

When you face rejection like I did for a prolonged time, it can be like a burr stuck in your soul. You may pull it out, but there are still residual effects that leave us feeling inferior and worthless. 

I can still feel inferior sometimes, to other people and in my self. I’ve never been the type of person who is a social butterfly. Usually I will not reach out to people I don’t know. My train of thought is that, “They probably won’t like me anyway.” Or if I do reach out, then it’s, “They are just being polite, they don’t want to be my friend, because they don’t like me.” 

Silly isn’t it? It seems like it anyway when I read it now. Thanks to the Lord’s gentle touch in my life I’ve come a long way.  I’ve learned not to be harsh with myself. Don’t beat myself up. Speak gently to myself. After all I wouldn’t dare talk to other people like that. 

In the video blog, my friend mentions that when you say inferiority, you hear the word fear. That’s the underlying problem isn’t it? It’s all about the fear. Fear of being hurt and rejected again. And when you fear, you shrink back. It paralyzes you. This has to be a great weapon the enemy welds to keep us from the abundant life God wants us to have.  We miss out because of lies! I’m not inferior and neither are you.

The opposite of feeling inferior is knowing I am significant. So do I seek after someone to love me and give me that significance? Will a human being give me that security? I’ve looked for that in many people and was found lacking. It wasn’t that they didn’t love me, but no human can sate my thirst, fill my emptiness. 

“The nobles send their servants for water; they go to the cisterns but find no water. They return with their jars unfilled; dismayed and despairing, they cover their heads.” Jeremiah 14:3

Anything or anyone other than Jesus is an empty cistern. Jesus is the Living Water. I drink of Him and I thirst no more. So I need to take my eyes off people and fix them on my Jesus. Also simply knowing the Truth has made a difference in the way I look at myself. 

I may digress at times when that old nettle sticks me. But not for long. The truth rises up within me and I say to myself, “This is not so. The Word says, I am this...” 

I am blessed in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. I was chosen. I was adopted. I am an heir of God. God’s grace has been lavished on me...etc. And this is just in Ephesians chapter one! 

This is how you “encourage yourself in the Lord.” I guarantee that any feelings of inferiority will dissipate when you speak the Truth to yourself. 

Knowing I am significant, fixing my eyes on Jesus, not people, and getting the Word in my spirit. This has helped me to walk in confidence knowing who I am and Whose I am. Of course it’s a journey not a three day cruise! I’ve not arrived yet. I still struggle sometimes; perhaps I will still have remnants of that burr sticking to me till I leave this earth. 

Beloved, you are not inferior. You are a confident woman of God. Don’t believe those lies the enemy hisses in your ear. Nothing scares him more than a woman walking boldly with her God! 

2 Timothy 1:7  says, “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.” Amplifed