All Fall Down

Jericho. A city surrounded by massive walls, so massive that houses were built on them and chariots could travel side by side. Strong and impenetrable, they blocked the Israelites. Beyond lay the Promised Land, but first Jericho had to be taken. 

The walls of my personal Jericho seemed just as impenetrable, immovable.  They loomed over, casting a shadow over me. 

The Israelites were geared up to take Jericho. The mighty warriors were poised, their swords glinting in the sun. Joshua, their fearless leader stood before them to give the battle commands. Yet these were strange commands. 

They were to march once every day for six days around the city walls with the Ark of the Covenant leading. On the seventh day, they had to march seven times. They had to keep silent the whole time-no charging the city, no shouting, just silently marching. 

They certainly didn’t understand why it had to be done that way; it didn’t make sense. Yet patiently and silently, they circled the walls as commanded. On that last march around the walls, they shouted, and the immense walls fell flat. God delivered Jericho into their hands. What looked impossible became possible because of their obedience and trust in the Great I Am.

My personal Jericho was my prodigal husband. Three years into our marriage he told me that he wasn’t going to church with me anymore. He was dealing with habitual sin that was threatening to take him and our marriage down a dark path. My heart was crushed, it was so hard to accept. It hurt so badly. 

I struggled and resisted, rushing the walls with my sword, cursing them. I wanted the walls to collapse now! Yet the struggle went on, in vain for years. 

I reached a breaking point and in the end I slumped against the walls, battered and bruised. My sword was broken off at the hilt; my knuckles were bloodied. Emotionally spent, I crumpled to the ground, tears of frustration filling my eyes. 

Why won’t the walls collapse? I’ve done everything possible to make it happen. Now my strength is gone and all I’ve accomplished is to make a mess of things. 

In my despair I cried out to Jesus and I felt His sweet presence near. I felt His gentle touch. But oh, He had to be disappointed at my pitiful efforts. I botched up everything. 

He spoke kind and comforting words to me. My child, you have exhausted yourself needlessly. Are you ready to do it My way now? You cannot bring the walls down in your own strength. It is beyond your capabilities. I spoke the universe into existence; don’t you think that I can do this? All I ask you to do is circle the walls with prayer. Be patient and let Me work. Be still and know that I am God. I will deliver this city into your hands in My time and in My way. My presence will go before you. 

His strength entered my body. I felt His peace deep within. 

The walls were still standing, but they didn’t seem so intimidating anymore. My circumstances had not changed, but I had changed. My focus was on Jesus now, not on the walls, not on myself. I became determined to see this situation through, but I resolved not to rush ahead of God.

I give my husband into Your hands, I told Jesus, You take over now. I’m so weak, I can’t fix this, but You are strong and able. My confidence is in You. 

I began to bombard the walls with prayer as I circled them. I followed the battle plans God gave me, even when I didn’t understand them. I kept my eyes on the One who led me. 

At times I still messed up. I’d take my sword and rush the walls screaming. These incidents happened less frequently as my faith grew stronger. I circled the walls many times. Sometimes I felt like giving up, but Jesus always encouraged me so I could walk on unwavering. He would feed my faith through HIs Word. 

Then I began to see cracks form in the walls. This drove me to pray harder. 

One glorious day, on my final lap around the city, the walls crashed down. What seemed impossible and immovable was now flattened. I shouted with triumph to my God who promised deliverance. I learned firsthand that whatever His lips promised, His hands will perform. 

My husband’s surrender to Jesus was a miracle. It was impossible for me to break down my husband’s spiritual walls. Only Jesus could change his heart. I only had to get out of the way and let Him work. I am overwhelmed at what God has done in my husband’s life. But also what He did in me.

This was a refining tool for me. Through this my life was forever changed as well. God desired my devotion, my trust and my heart. 

Do you have a Jericho in your life? Are you failing as you try to bring the walls down? You cannot do this through your own efforts. Get out of the way and allow Him to do the impossible. Be still and know He is God. The walls will collapse. 


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Rambling Thursdays, Meno-prose

In today’s Rambling Thursday I’m sharing a few thoughts on the lovely experience of menopause. 

Fan, how do I love you? Let me count the ways....I’ve used a fan while sleeping for years now. I can’t sleep without one humming in the background. Slowly it has progressed to desperation. Yet there is a fine line I cannot cross before my husband gripes. It’s strategically placed so that it blows only on me. And Lord help us if a puff of air blows on him. 

Now it’s spiraled to a new level of dependency. We are positively joined at the hip. A fan sits in the living room pointed at the love seat where I sit. I’ve even contemplated handhelds but it’s not to that extreme yet.....Yet. 

Layer, layer, toil and trouble....I love jackets, hoodies, turtlenecks, sweaters, cardigans, etc... I would open the closet and throw them on with nary a thought. Now I hesitate with trepidation. When the burning ball ignites within my chest, my striptease begins. First the outer layer, then the sleeves pulled up. It’s a dilemma. 

I love scarves. It’s kind of like a women’s tie. Love the various colors, how it dresses up any outfit. Now at times it suffocates like a boa constrictor. And oh how the new ponchos allure me. But wrapping a blanket around me would probably be a bad idea. Layers are a must for survival, and for not indecent exposure. Thankfully we are in the midst of winter. We won’t think about summer for now. 

Sleep, Sleep, O how I yearn for thee....I remember a long ago time when my son slept till three in the morning, and we were positively giddy. Previously I was up about every two to three hours feeding him. Oh how wonderful it was to sleep uninterrupted hours of blissful sleep. 

I love sleep. I heard a woman say she wished her husband would carry her into the bedroom, throw her on the bed, take her clothes off, tuck her in and then leave to do the dishes. Oh yes, sleep is such a wondrous thing. Due to the nightly ball of fire in my chest, (And I don’t mean a passionate ball of fire), sleep has become a fleeting thing. It’s no wonder I’m walking around in a zombie state for most of the day.

That reminds me...As far as I can recall...If memory serves me correctly....Oh forget it!!!

This is probably related to the sleep issue, but I’m finding myself doing questionable things. Once I tried to place the milk jug in the cabinet next to the cereals. I’m forgetting names terribly. True conversation between my husband and I about an upcoming TV show: I can’t wait to watch that new show next week. It has that one actress who sings also? Oh really, what’s her name? At this point all I can remember is it starts with a J. I rack my brain for any clues. No help there. Oh forget it, I can’t remember her name. 

Another lovely conversation: What is this payment for? Husband questions me...I petition my lethargic brain for any clues. I believe it’s for my credit card payment. No, it’s for this book I bought. Husband implores me: Well you need to write this down in the check balance sheet. I remark back: That’s what an online back account is for. It’s asking too much to write it down when I can barely remember it the next hour. 

Now don’t get me wrong, we are not approaching financial ruin, but it certainly adds a certain excitement to an otherwise mundane conversation. 

So there’s nothing left to say now, except to see the humor in it all, to laugh at the absurdity. It helps to know millions upon millions of women have gone through this and come through the other side. I will also. 

I leave you with this today: Chin up soul sister!

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A New Years message for you

A year ago, I was slogging through some ugly emotions. Anger simmered within. I felt stuck in a job I was unhappy in. I had been praying for God to change my situation. Yet God didn’t exactly answer my prayers the way I expected. The year ahead didn’t hold much promise. As you can see I’m not sugarcoating my thoughts today. 

I know I appreciate it when people share their raw honest emotions with me. Oh, you feel this way too? You’re struggling with the same stuff? 

Where are you in your journey right now? Are you feeling stuck in a bad situation? Are you angry and hurt? Do you look ahead at this year without a glimmer of hope?  Sit down with me today. Can I encourage you? 

You know there have been times in my life when I have let the “Twisted Sister” out. Unfortunately most of the time it happens it’s not when I am blessedly alone if you know what I mean.

I really try to appear to have it all together. But truthfully I need Jesus so badly. Many, many times He has pulled me back from a pit or even out of one. I have fallen on my face at His feet so many times and each time He lavishes His grace on me. 

I share this, because last December I threw a fit and played the martyr. Woe is me, I have it so bad!  Gloom and despair! It was ugly. I didn’t like what I was seeing in the mirror. Yet it became a turning point for me.

Do I want to turn into a bitter woman? I would certainly morph into one if I continued on this path. 

So I let go, I forgave the one who treated me unjustly. I settled in my job and found contentment. I cultivated a deeper relationship with Jesus. This did not magically happen overnight. Nothing really does. But the outcome has been worthwhile.

This year has been a surprise. In other words, God did much more than I expected or imagined. I didn’t have much hope, remember. All my fears and dreads never materialized. 

If He can do this for me, He will certainly do it for you. He will turn that situation you feel “stuck” in, into a beautiful place. He will breathe life into those dry bones and revive you. 

Dear friend, you are at a turning point just as I was. You must let go of the angst and hurt. Lean into His beating heart, allow Him to hold you close. Let Him do His great work in your life. Don’t limit Him by your circumstances, emotions, etc... You can’t limit a God who created the universe. 

This coming year I guarantee you that God will surprise. This time next year, you will look in wonder at what He did in and through you. 

Bless you my friend. Happy New Year. 

Related Blog: A Good Attitude?

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"Will God really dwell on earth..?"

“But will God really dwell on earth with humans? The heavens, even the highest heavens, cannot contain you. How much less this temple I have built!” 2 Chronicles 6:18-19

Will God really dwell on earth with humans? Not possible. Can’t happen. But the Almighty God did indeed dwell with His people Israel in the tent tabernacle and then the temple. He brought them out of slavery, fought for them, brought them into the Promised land and made them a nation.  

Will God really dwell on earth with humans? No, not possible. Can’t happen. But the astonishing truth is that He dwelt among us as a human. God Almighty, the Creator of the universe walked around in human skin.   Our God is not distant or unapproachable. He felt our pain, hurts, betrayal, and weaknesses. He has faced temptation. He experienced it all. 

The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us....John 1:14

 For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form. Colossians 2:9 

Jesus said, “Anyone who has seen me, has seen the Father.” John 14:9.  

Why would God do this? Why would He go after a wandering, straying sheep? Why does He love me so much? I will never know. He gives Himself so lavishly, does not hold back. What a beautiful mystery this is? 

Christmas is such a wondrous season. I love giving gifts to the ones I love. I want to show my appreciation and love to them. What a warm feeling that gives me. 

Multiply that by perhaps thousands and thousands. Perhaps then we can catch a glimpse of the love our Heavenly Father has by giving us His precious Son, Jesus. Immanuel, God with us. 

I hope you have a blessed Christmas my friends. 

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An Ode to a Neighbor

My neighbor died recently. We gathered in her flower garden for a memorial service. Comforting words were spoken. Tears shed, smiles and hugs shared. It was one of those moments that linger long after. 

We had just received a few inches of heavy snow. It coated the trees and garden. The setting sun caused everything to sparkle, lifting our heavy spirits. Her ashes were scattered around her precious garden. 

The garden itself is dead right now. What once was thriving and full of color and life is covered by snow. Gray stalks poke through here and there. I have many lilies and irises buried under the barren soil. Most of them given to me from my neighbor.  She had a daylily garden the size of my vegetable garden. She was always so generous. 

“Do you like this one?” “Here, let’s dig up a start.” “How about this one?” I had just started a garden of my own after I moved here. I didn’t have a lot of money to spare for flowers at that time. But I didn’t want to impose on her generosity either.

So I reluctantly said yes, I would love some flowers. Again she was always so generous. Once she and her husband  labored over a deep rooted Baptisia bush to share a start. They literally had to use a pick. I stood there holding this piece of root wondering if it would grow. And they worked so hard to get it for me. Believe me, I babysitted that plant and prayed over it. It flourishes now and seems to get bigger every year. 

Yes the garden is dead now, but next spring will bring new life again. When those irises and daylilies come to life and open their pretty faces, I’ll remember my neighbor. I’m going to smile when my Baptisia bush show their sweet pea like blossoms.  

A gardener grows beautiful things and shares them freely.  When I share  my flowers with a friend, my garden grows all the more. My life is much the same. When I give freely of what God has given me, my life flourishes. 

God has done a wonderful work in you. He has planted beautiful things within you. Share those beauties with those needy ones around you. You have much to give. 

“When someone gives another person a flower, the fragrance of the flower lingers on the hands of the giver.” Unknown

Related garden blog


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Rambling Thursdays

Let me just say up front that I love football. I have since I was a kid. I’ve had many football loves through my life. Joe Namath, Terry Bradshaw, Lynn Swan, Joe Montana, Walter Payton, Payton Manning and now Andrew Luck. I am an unabashed Colt’s and Notre Dame fan. So for today’s Rambling Thursday’s blog I thought I’d share a few thoughts about the 2015 season.

*I’ll get the ugly deflategate issue out of the way first. Because I am a Colt’s fan, I don’t like the Patriots. (Sorry Pats fans, hope this doesn’t mar our friendship.) But I wish my Colts hadn’t brought this up and I really don’t care to hear about a deflated ball again. Okay, now on to the good stuff. 

*I didn’t have good feelings about Payton playing this year and my gut feelings were confirmed. It pains me to watch him struggle this year. He’s a shell of his former greatness. I hope he can retire with his head held high. It’s been such a pleasure to hear “Omaha” at the line and watch him conducting his offensive people with his hand signals. When he leaves, the NFL won’t be the same.  

*What’s with all the injuries this year? Players are dropping like flies weekly. I don’t play fantasy football, but one of my friends does and it has certainly messed with her fantasy team. My Colts haven’t been exempt. Andrew Luck has been beat up. Thankfully we have Matt Hasselback. This brings me to my next thought.

*Matt Hasselback is quite the dude. He literally rose off a hospital bed on a short week to lead the Colts to a Thursday night victory. They were pumping I.V.’s in him before the game after he was deathly sick for a couple of days. Imagine facing angry giant men wanting to tear your arms off after that! But wow, he literally has saved the Colt’s season. The man is forty years old and he looks like he’s having fun out there with all the young guys. 

*Who would have thought? Ravens only with three wins? Bengals only two losses? Panthers undefeated? Cardinals leading the division with Seahawks in second place? Vikings in first place, Green Bay slipping? It has been a topsy turvy kind of season. I hate to say this, I really do....but the Pats will probably win the Super Bowl again even with all their injuries. 

*What do you think of the color crush uniforms on Thursday nights? I think they are pretty cool, although they have messed with color blind people. I  like the retro uniforms too, except the Steelers look like bumblebees in theirs. Just saying. 

*Lets talk College. I didn’t have high hopes for my Irish. And boy it didn’t start out well. Starting quarterback out for the year. Starting running back out. Season over right? Nope, it was next man up and boy did they ever step up. They have played so well and so gutty. Notre Dame has lost seven starters this year and they just keep plugging along. They were on the verge of going to the playoffs until they lost to Stanford. My heart was broken. I’ll still get to watch them one last time this year at a major bowl. 

Hard to believe we only have a couple of months left of football. Where did it go? I’ve enjoyed watching it this year and look forward to the intensity of the upcoming playoffs. For now enjoy this vintage Jim Mora video about his thoughts on the playoffs. Go Colts and Irish! 

Jehovah Remembers

The smoke ascends from the incense kindled by Altar fire. It drifts into the Holy of Holies, which represents the very throne of God. Sweet fragrance fills the Temple. 

“The smoke of the incense, together with the prayers of the saints, went up before God from the angel’s hand.” Revelation 8:4

Zechariah the priest stood before the Altar of incense to intercede for God’s people. The people gather outside in the courtyard to pray. He prays for the salvation of his people. For the Messiah to come. 

Yet there is a deeper yearning within his heart. A prayer that rises up with the smoke from the Altar. He and his wife Elizabeth are childless and well along in years. Has God forgotten them, does He see the ache of their hearts? 

In this most holy moment in God’s most holy meeting place, he hears from Almighty God. Ironically the name Zechariah means “Jehovah remembers.” 

Truly He does. Jehovah told Solomon when the Temple was dedicated, “Now My eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place.”  2 Chronicles 8:15. 

Beloved, He is attentive to your prayers. He is aware of your heart’s desires. He sees the ache of your heart.  He has not forgotten you. He did not forget Zechariah. 

An angel appears at Zechariah’s side and tells him that his prayers have been heard. His wife Elizabeth will bear a son, which is joyful enough, but intertwined is another answered prayer. His son John “will make ready a people prepared for the Lord”, i.e. the anticipated Messiah. 

Your prayers are powerful and they are heard. The Altar of incense is a powerful visual of prayer. Every morning and evening the Priest burned the incense. He would intercede for the people. Once a year on the day of atonement, he applied the blood to the horns of the Altar, signifying the power of the blood in prayer. 

“The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16

Consider this about your prayers: We have the grace of the Spirit who helps us when we know not how to pray, Jesus who intercedes for us, and His precious blood which makes our prayers powerful. Add to this His promises which are “yea and amen in Christ.” 

Let me encourage you today to keep praying. Your prayers ascend into the very throne of God. Your Heavenly Father is attentive to your prayers. 

“I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live. The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me; I was overcome by trouble and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the LORD: "O LORD, save me!" The LORD is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. The LORD protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me. Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you.” Psalm 116:1-7


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